You don’t have a Will because you want one
by Duie Latta
Duie is the Co-Founder of Clarion Law, based in West Chester, PA.
You know you need a Will, so why don’t you have one?
I’ll tell you something that no one else will: You don’t have a Will because you want one.
You read that right. You “want” a Will, which is why you don’t have one. Keep reading, I'll explain.
There are countless articles about “Why you need a Last Will and Testament”. These authors seem to think that a lack of knowledge is the main barrier to finishing a Will. But ask yourself - do the people who don't have a Will simply lack the right information?
After years of trying to get clients to make Wills, I don’t think that’s what’s really going on.
Here are some of the real reasons why you don’t have a Will:
You are wired to not think about your own death.
Scientists have found that the human brain is “wired” to stop us from thinking about our own mortality. Their theory is that avoiding morbid thoughts helps humans live happier lives. Let that sink in for a moment. Your brain is wired to think of death as something that happens to other people, but not to you. So you don’t prepare.
Planning doesn’t have easy answers.
Questions like “Who will take care of my kids?” or “How do I take care of the people that I love after I'm gone?” are hard questions. There are no easy answers. Your mind finds it easier to push aside the questions instead of confronting the difficult reality head-on. Holding out for that “perfect” plan means that you don’t even have a good plan.
It sucks working with lawyers.
“Sucks” is harsh, I know, but it’s okay (we’re allowed to say it - we’re lawyers!)
These are the real reasons why you don’t have a Will.
Knowing is not enough
The hard truth is that knowing you should do something and ACTUALLY DOING IT are not the same thing. If they were, we would all have healthy diets and exercise routines. Ahem.
Knowing is not enough. Wanting is not enough. It takes action.
You’d eat more veggies if knowing you should was all that it takes.
We can all come up with plenty of justifications for not having a Will. The most popular one is “I’ll get to it later.” Of course, that “later” somehow never becomes “now”.
Something that you merely wish to do can always be pushed off until later….until there's a better time to do it, a less busy time, a more convenient time. But we want to think about ourselves as responsible people who do the right thing. So we develop internal scripts and tell ourselves how we really “want” a Will, but for XYZ reason, now is not the time.
“Wanting is just wishing.
But when you decide, you take action. ”
There is a huge psychological difference between WANTING and DECIDING.
Here are some traits of people who actually finish a Will:
They DECIDE to get a Will rather than merely wishing to.
They GET STARTED, even if it’s just a small step.
They GET HELP instead of trying to DIY.
Please don’t deceive yourself. That perfect moment “later on” is never going to come, so you need to take action now.
You can either keep “wanting”, or you can DECIDE and TAKE ACTION to make it a reality. Now is the time.
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.
The second best time is now”